Thursday, January 28, 2010

Life

I've been keeping putting off writing another blog. Why? There's so many little tidbits, experiences, challenges... I want so bad to share with the outside world who knows nothing of any of this. But my problem's this: How do you put into words what isn't words? How do I relay to a world a world away these things in a way so they can relate to it?
Walking along a path at night with the flickering flame of a candle for lighting, weaving through huts and various kinds of muck. Gazing up through the silhouette of palm branches at the dusky sky, moon, and stars (one of the absolute coolest sights!), entering a dim little bamboo hut and sitting around a blazing fire with laughter and comfortable companionship. Feeling at one with the people. Accepted as a friend. Those are the good times.
But painting out only the europhoric instances would not be giving you a picture of real life as it is. There are the moments when it feels like I can't go on. Absolutely worn out and exhausted. It's getting late and I still need to cook my supper. The patients continue to trickle in in happy oblivion to my dillemas, giggling about some wanted cough medicine for a cough that I don't hear and I hack away in front of them as I listen to yet another pair of lungs. I want to growl, "You know that some people actually feel sick..." But I don't. All it takes to clear my attitude is remembering why I'm here.
But still the good overshadows the bad by so much! Perspective makes all the difference. I find that just going out for a walk to clear my brain works wonders.
Getting used to things here and settling into a comfortable semi-routine.
As of the end of today (Wednesday), a total of approximately 223 patients have been seen! (some repeats and many that were coming for simple things such as deworming meds, though.) 149 of those have been kids. That's exciting to me. In just a few weeks I'm getting more experience with peds patients than I probably could have in the States in several years.
God's been good to me! So good! So far I'm not aware of any bad effects from treatment, although many times out of desperation I've said a quick prayer and made a wild (though I'd like to think educated...:)) guess or taken a chance. New territory here. I'm learning by trial and error. Goiters, abcesses, malaria, pneumonia, gastric ulcers, ect, ect, ect.
I think God's using this time to smooth down my many 'rough edges.' His faithfulness is amazing!

Prayer of Peace

Prayer of Peace - Relief & Resistance in Burma's War Zones [English subtitles] from Front Films on Vimeo.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Pics


All packed for our trip up!

EhKnYaw ready to go.

My new place!

Cooking facilities - it's actually really a blast to cook like that, although I'm still trying to get the hang of the fire. The fire's sure nice on those cold and early mornings.

The new outhouse they just built.

Neighboring houses.




Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day 3

A good day. Not quite as eventful as the last two. A few small victories. Some discouraging moments too. Mostly language bloopers. If nothing else, at least I'm good for amusement! The problem is that I might know I said it wrong, but I'm not sure just exactly what I said. Either their laughing at me or exchanging embarrassed glances with one another (I'll take the laughter, thank-you!:)) Tonal languages. I regress...
The number of patients is definitely picking up. 42 today! Quite a few weren't exactly patients though as they just came for deworming meds - very popular. Asides from that, mostly coughs, tummyaches, and other various aches and pains.
I took a wonderful couple hour hike out to the road and back again this afternoon. So thankful for the opportunity to get away like that. The publicity quickly wears on you. They have no sense of privacy whatsoever.
I'm used to taking my bath in public by now (what they do here - dressed, of course), but not with a direct audience. Well that's just exactly what I had this evening. I was praying for all I was worth they'd find something more interesting to observe. Finally, in desperation, I decided grin and bear it was the best option. I had an abbreviated bath afterwhich they trailed me up back into the house, together with a couple new patients. Incidentally, the house has no doors. They didn't seem to take a hint and I was starting to wonder if they had any sense of propriety at all. Let's just say that we become skilled in such matters.:)
All said and done though, the end of a good day! It's a wonderful challenge and I feel blessed to be here.

Day 2

I discovered that I didn't have some of the things I need so this morning I went on a medicine run down to Metta. Received new fortification and encouragement via friends from Facebook.:) I ended up being late and didn't get started up 'til close to dark. After a harrowing ascent up the mountain, I pulled in to where a group of guys were playing ball in the field out in front of the old Catholic church that I park my bike beneath. Well the last thing I wanted to do was draw more attention to myself than was already granted. They already eye me with a certain level of amusement, interest, and an undefinable sentiment (pity?). I had to drive around the edge of the field to get to the church. One of the men moved to open the gate for me, allowing me just enough room to squeeze through. It was at an awkward angle and the ground was rough. I endeavored to gracefully maneuver in, but instead I gave it too much throttle to get over a bump and with a rather ungainly spurt we jumped through catching on both the wall and gate and managing to knock a board lose. Now if this didn't turn heads!:) I stumbled away with my dignity at about dirt level. Legs shaking (from the harrowing ascent) I headed down the hill toward the path going to my place. As fate would have it, a small stream blocked my path. Really not a stream though. More like a gooey mucky mire of mud that smells of pigs and chickens. Mr. Murphy was in for the lion's share tonight! When my feet touched the slippery slope, part of me went south and the other went north leaving me down on my knees in the mire, much to the delight of my second audience who were perched on the porch of the hut below me. They chuckled to their heart's content as I retrieved my bags, smile, and dignity from the smelly goo. At this point my flip-flops were so slick they refused to gain any grip on the ground (further adding to my audience's mirth, I may add) and so I trudged off barefoot.
This "nurse" can rest in peace tonight knowing that, if no other good was accomplished, at least she gave out the medicine of laughter in large quantities!:)

Day 1

Here I am up in Melaki. Yesterday was a long day. I was starting to wonder if we would actually make it, but finally in the late afternoon our little caravan started off. You should have seen EhKnYa's bike! That thing was loaded 'til it could have taken no more. Finally we were beginning our ascent. We made it up right around dusk. I must say that I had strong hopes for a quiet entry. I just wanted to sneak in there and maybe sometime the next day start quietly getting acquainted with the villagers. But that was not to be! I just hate being a gazing stock, but that's just exactly what I am here. "Gullawa! Gullawa! Gullawa!" It means white person and you wouldn't know how tired I get of hearing the word. I tell you, this big white person thing wears on you... Even the cows eye me with suspicious gaze and the pigs have squealed and high-tailed it at the sight of me.
Anyways...the villagers trailed us up to the house and congregated to watch the new gullawa. I took care of a few patients (with great fear and trembling) and a few of the villgers stayed to sit around the fire a while. There's two girls who were asigned to stay with me for a little bit, at least 'til I get the hang of cooking over a fire.
We were up bright and early to the tune of the crowing roosters. 4:32 - I kid you not! I may be many things (not all pleasant), but I assure you that an earlybird has not been one of them. Well if life must be this wayat least I will get to join the exclusive ranks of the healthy, happy, & nice. (I say happy as wealthy is one thing that dosen't happen here.):)
No patients in the morning. The girls took me visiting at several places through the village. I have never had such a morning in all of my life! They took me to one of the girls homes. I don't know if there's a way to describe to you what I'm feeling as I duck into a dark and smokey little bamboo room where a mother and her children sit cross-legged around a fire. I almost feel as though I'm going back to some pre-historic place in time. It quickly dawns on me that the furry and not so little creatures they're roasting over the fire are rats. I see a whole pile of them lying there. The (very normal looking!) mother reaches over and hands another limpid and very dead little creature to her young son on the other side of the fire who spears the thing and proceeds to roast it. He snaps off the tail, popping it into his mouth with apparent relishment. I with my American mindset am horrified and am doing all I can to simply maintain a neutral expression. With great self-control I seat myself nearby and try to act as if this indeed is quite normal. It's almost all I can do to sit there and watch. They ask me if I think rat tastes good. I say that I don't know as I've never eaten one. This they seem to find amusing. They inform me that they indeed are quite delicious. Now I'm a vegetarian. And just one thought of rotting dead animal of any kind entering my mouth gives me the creeps and I certainly think nothing more of rat meat (no offence to any carnivorous readers.:) I had been thinking about how I would respond if I was offered anything with meat in it. But right there at that moment I knew that I had no qualms about saying no.:)
Oh, and I must tell of my first (and last, I may add) betel nut chewing experience.
The next house we visited was much more normal on appearance. We sat around for a long time. I had a great time with the girls and many of the village women and children came in and out. They made valiant attempts at teaching me Karen, pointing to nearly everything in sight and giving it's name. I in turn taught them the English words. Pretty soon they offered me a nut-like little thing with a kind of hull on it. They told me what it was, but I had forgotten the Karen name for betel nut. So I, with the true missionary spirit (it wasn't a roasted rat after all!), received it with gratitude. Pretty soon it started to dawn on me what this was. Now I should say that of all the vile things, on my list betel nut is pretty close to the top. Their teeth are horrible - all black and red stained from it (I'm told this is supposedly the women's aim - the blacker the better.) and the smell nearly makes me sick. Thankfully, I didn't get very far with it though.:) I must say though that it's a pretty sad beginning for the new "nurse" of the village who's supposed to exhibit the most exemplary behavior to all.
And there are the more exciting points of my first day.:)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Melaki

I found the village I'll be moving to! A friend, Ehknyaw, did some searching for me and came up with a beautiful village up in the mountains that's very ideal for what I'd hoped to be able to do. We went up and visited Manikee last Friday. It's approximately a 1 1/2 - 2 hour drive from my family's house near Mae Solite, although not so far in distance. To get up there you have to climb up a windy road full of tight almost spiral staircase style curves. Finally it turns off onto a dirt path. I'm told you can get a truck up there, but I kinda find that hard to believe - at least without a fight. It was rather exciting just trying to get up there on my motorbike. Honestly, I was wondering if I would make it or not part of the way. But we did! It'll be a fun drive.:) Not sure I'll be transversing it too often in the rainy season though.
The village setting's gorgeous, although also extremely poor, as are most. It's on a hillside. The huts have thatch rather than leaf roofs and there's more palm trees than many places. There's no religious presence in the village that we're aware of besides an old Catholic church and monastery and Buddhism of course. There's an empty wood/tin structure up on posts that will act as residence for me, the water buffalo that resides underneath, and also the clinic.
I'm informed that nobody in the village speaks any English. I think it will be a daunting, but good stretch for me. Thankfully I do have phone service within a short walking distance! Asides from the medical work, they would like for me to teach English at the school one day a week.
Next Sunday is the move-in date! I'm very excited and feel like this is where I'm supposed to be.

New Year!

12-31-09
It's New Year's Eve and I'm sitting here in the ER. We had a scrawny little 3-year-old girl who came to the "clinic" this early evening still having a sustained high fever from malaria that was diagnosed last week and also lung problems. Poor little mother! If I'd spotted her on the street I probably wouldn't have guessed her to be much more than 14 or 15. She was walking around with both of her kids in slings - one on the front and one on the back. I got to tote around her perfectly adorable little might of a kid (maybe 1) while she attempted to soothe our squalling little patient. We weren't able to take her earlier as we had no vehicle. When it finally returned we were off to Metta with Bradley chauffeuring once again (his 3rd trip of the day - my 2nd.) One the ride in I was reminiscing on this time last year.
Last New Year's Eve I was in Burma lying on my mat on the floor of my bamboo hut listening to what I couldn't decide whether to be gunshots or fireworks. To me it sounded like gunshots and I wasn't sure that they'd have fireworks here. Earlier that day I'd heard someone say that there had been an agreement for the Burmese not to attack 'til after the New Year. Well, now it was New Year's Eve -- and, quite honestly, I was terrified and my imagination was running wild. I seriously considered running over to the guy's hut and asking if we were in danger, but thought better of it due to the time. I settled down with the knowledge in mind that if we would need to escape the guys would know and come warn us. I went to sleep claiming Psalms 91. Come morning, at breakfast I asked one of the guys about the sounds of the night only to be asked "What sounds?" Apparently he hadn't even been awake to worry about it. Must've been the fireworks. While amusing (in retrospect), it didn't exactly encourage trust in those I had assumed to be my night watchmen.
Going on through the year I see now much has changed -- and is changing. The schoold was attacked and evacuated (in my absence). It's hard to see change. There's been many painful times, trials, and obstacles. And yet it's beautiful.
I'm looking forward to next year when I can look back at all that will have happened this year. Life is truly an adventure! "We've nothing to fear for the future, except we forget how God's led us in the past."
So I'm sitting here with this tiny, ragged and only half-dressed child in my arms, hoping for great things this new year. I want to be able to see precious kids, like this one, healthy and clean, with food in their bellies enough clothes to keep them warm, and roofs over there heads.
God, help me to not lose focus. Keep my eyes fixed on the goal. Sometimes it feels as though this work is just a needle lost in a haystack, and it is... But You even notice when a little bird falls. Help me to remember that...

(Started in ER and finished later.)